Clarissa Appelt
2 min readJun 2, 2021


You find a fascinating creature

In the outside she looks like a horse

With the soul of a blue whale

And the heart of a humming bird

Almost dying every time it takes flights.

You want to keep her.

You want to possess her.

She is frightening and beautiful

Shadow and light

But you know you can’t trap her

You know you can’t keep her inside.

You know she will grow all around

Like a tree that puts down a house

with its silent roots growing underneath

You know she won’t need you

She has a tough shell

That will take any punches

So you test her

To see how much she can take

You make she feel she is not enough

You force her to be vulnerable

So that she will need your heat

So that she won’t know anything else but your dark shelter

You torture her mind

So that she starts questioning herself

You torture her heart

Making her feel she was never that loving

You torture her soul

Until it shrinks

Into a tiny grey fish


She is sinking to the corner of the bowl


When you think she is dead

You poke her with a stick

Just to check she is still there

Slowly she starts losing appeal

Her eyes loose their color

Her skin loses its glow

That’s when you start looking for her light in other creatures.

And you lie.

You make her question her sanity

And you lie.

And she believes you.

You lie.

Until she won’t know what is truth.

Until she dries

And you pinch her with a pin

And hang it on your wall.

But when you think she has turned into art and memory

When you think she’ll finally sit still

She’ll built a new cocoon

(from all the little strains of pain and sorrow)

And with entirely new colours

She’ll fly





Clarissa Appelt

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