Explorer
--
You find a fascinating creature
In the outside she looks like a horse
With the soul of a blue whale
And the heart of a humming bird
Almost dying every time it takes flights.
You want to keep her.
You want to possess her.
She is frightening and beautiful
Shadow and light
But you know you can’t trap her
You know you can’t keep her inside.
You know she will grow all around
Like a tree that puts down a house
with its silent roots growing underneath
You know she won’t need you
She has a tough shell
That will take any punches
So you test her
To see how much she can take
You make she feel she is not enough
You force her to be vulnerable
So that she will need your heat
So that she won’t know anything else but your dark shelter
You torture her mind
So that she starts questioning herself
You torture her heart
Making her feel she was never that loving
You torture her soul
Until it shrinks
Into a tiny grey fish
Until
She is sinking to the corner of the bowl
Shivering
When you think she is dead
You poke her with a stick
Just to check she is still there
Slowly she starts losing appeal
Her eyes loose their color
Her skin loses its glow
That’s when you start looking for her light in other creatures.
And you lie.
You make her question her sanity
And you lie.
And she believes you.
You lie.
Until she won’t know what is truth.
Until she dries
And you pinch her with a pin
And hang it on your wall.
But when you think she has turned into art and memory
When you think she’ll finally sit still
She’ll built a new cocoon
(from all the little strains of pain and sorrow)
And with entirely new colours
She’ll fly
Far
Away.
